It’s already begun. The malls are pumping Christmas carols through the air vents, storefronts have taken on their predictable green, red and gold theme, and the materialistic mood of the holidays is thickening. Whether you enjoy the seasonal festivities or loathe them, Jewish families are confronted with difficult challenges around the winter holidays. Children may yearn for a Christmas tree (I tried to convince my mother to let us decorate a “Hanukkah Fern” one year as a compromise), and want 8 full nights of gifts to compensate for the gifts under their friends’ trees.

The reality is that Hanukkah is a relatively minor holiday in the Jewish tradition. A historical holiday rather than a biblical one, celebrating both the military victory of Judah Maccabee and his brothers over Antiochus IV in 167B.C.E, and the miracle of the oil in the Temple burning for 8 days after it was destroyed. The Festival of Lights, Hanukkah is celebrated with candles and oil (latkes, doughnuts, etc). Gift giving largely became part of the tradition in response to its proximity to Christmas.

Regardless of how we approach the holiday season today, it can still be infused with Jewish values, learning and culture. Consider a few ideas:

- Create a Jewish or value driven theme for each night, and each gift given should be inspired by the theme. One night could be for books on Jewish topics or by Jewish authors. Another night could be making a donation to a favorite charity in honor of the recipient. Judaica, Israel-made gifts, or subscriptions to Jewish papers or magazines are other ideas. What creative ones can you come up with? Perhaps each member of your family can offer their own idea.

- Throw a festive Hanukkah party. Either use is as an opportunity to celebrate with your Jewish friends, or to invite non-Jewish friends to learn about your traditions. Encourage your children to invite their non-Jewish friends to increase understanding and respect for their differences. Make latkes, light menorahs, play dreidel!

- Discuss your Jewish values as a family, and make New Year’s resolutions based on them. Commit to volunteering together at a food bank or shelter once a month, setting aside 10% of kids’ allowance for tzedakah, or reading a Jewish book more frequently.

- Create a new Jewish family tradition for the holidays. Do it again next year to really make it a tradition!

- Talk to other Jewish families about the creative ideas they have implemented in their family.

A few great resources:

Jewish Family & Life: Traditions, Holidays, and Values for Today's Parents and Children by Yosef I. Abramowitz, Susan Silverman

How To Be A Jewish Parent: A Practical Handbook for Family Life by Anita Diamant, Karen Kushner (Contributor)

Have other suggestions or ideas that you’ve used in your family? Write to us
and we’ll post your thoughts here!